Sunday, March 18, 2012

What are you looking forward to?

I have been trying to keep a countdown so many different ways.  You see, I have a countdown on my computer, on my phone, and on my planner.  I wanted needed something in my room.  And I made it where the caption can be changed out periodically.

Are you ready to learn how to make this?

All you need is:
A wooden plaque

Printer paper
Sponge brush
Mod Podge

Ribbon and/or Decorations
Something to set it on, or hang on the wall with
Clothes pin
Scrapbook paper or fabric of your choice

The first step is to measure your plaque so that you can make your paper or fabric fit exactly to the shape of the plaque.

I used two different sheets of it complicated the measuring BUT made a huge different on the look of it. :)

Once your paper or fabric is cut, use your sponge brush to coat the plaque in mod podge.
Mod podge is basically a strong clear do not be afraid if it gets on the outside of the plaque where it will not be covered.

Quickly, lay your scrap book paper or fabric over the coated plaque and let dry for 3 minutes.  Once this is dry re-coat mod podge over this scrapbook paper (you dont have to re-coat for fabric).  The re-coating of the mod podge will make the paper look shiny.

After this dries...for about 5 minutes or until not sticky to touch, you can start decorating.  I used ribbon and flowers bought at my local crafts store.

After the decorating is done, I used the same method to mod podge the boring clothes pin with the left over scrapbook paper that I had :)

Next, hammer a nail into the middle where you would like to hang your caption.  You can do it this way or you can simply glue or mod podge the caption to the plaque.  However, if you do it with the nail, the caption can simply be changed to say other things like "Until graduation, Until Christmas, etc."

I then cut out some scrapbook paper for the caption and modpodged over what I wanted it to say so that it was shiny also. I punched a hole in the top, tied a ribbon, and hung that on the nail.

The last part is gluing the clothes pin to the plaque, and making the numbers on any paper you'd like.

Andddd waaaa lah! 

I hope you like it. 
Please let me know if you have any questions.

Get your countdown on!

Monday, March 5, 2012

Nothing to do with Strength

Most days, I don't know what I'm doing...I'm just everywhere.
A while back proved no different. I spent DAYS scared out of my mind about one doctors appointment because of my fainting habits.

Turns out crazy mind is what causes it all.  The doctor told me that I needed to squat down when I felt faint...that I needed to drink more water.  The doctor gave me a few medications to calm my anxiety.
Told me things I already knew.

I could and can do a lot of things. But in the heat of that moment, in the thick of it...I needed help.

I needed the reassurance from a medical profession as to why I was fainting.

I need someone to tell me it's ok. I need someone to hug me tight when I feel like breaking. 

I need to get to and from school and school every day, because it means I get out of the apartment- multiple times a day.

Who cares that I throw clothes on and walk out the door... The point is that I walk out the door.

The last year has taught me a lot about myself especially being in the relationship I am with SJ... it's taught about who I am and who I hope to be. I hear, "I admire your strength," or, "You are so strong," more times than I care to count. The thing is... It's not about strength. We all have the strength to survive anything. It's just buried deep inside. It's about asking for help when you need it, and just simply getting things done.  It's about perseverance and the will to keep going.

Here we are in the beginning of the month number 9 and things are getting more difficult.  We haven't seen eachother in months.  We get frustrated with eachother more easily, but we cherish our time to talk more often.

But this I know...

I have class 4 times a week.  I have to BE there 4 times a week.
I have work 4 times a week.  I must BE there 4 times a week.

Groceries need to be bought.

Homework needs to be completed.

Girls nights need to be planned.

Friends need to be hugged.

Skype dates need to be happening.

The coffee shop will always sell me coffee.

Bedtime will come.

And this long distance will not be forever.
This long distance will end.

I just gotta keep going....
We will keep going.

I'll take it...the Good and the Bad

Sometimes this capstone class, while doing an internship, while maintaining a long distant relationship is tough. Ok...all the time. I feel like we aren't talking about "important" things while we have the time to. Or I have one of those days where nothing goes as planned and all in all the day was a complete failure in school. Or I am at work completely exhausted to the point where I have to do anything possible to keep my eyes open and stay productive...I can't help but think maybe I'm not cut out for this. And then the doubt starts to creep up and I think about how much would change if maybe I had an easier degree, or maybe I spent less time doing school work and more time visiting with him. Or maybe I should have the job I had...before this internship.  Or I distinctively remember having more time to do homework in my day.  Oh, wait thats because my job wasn't an internship.  It wasn't a huge blessing for my future career.

It's easy to get that "grass is greener" attitude when things aren't going my way. Just when I think about throwing in the towel and going an easier route rather than the route God planned for me, then I think of SJ. And I think of that degree. That degree is the reason I work so incredibly hard every day. And he's the reason for this season of my life...and together we're going to "get" this. Just when it seems like things are going perfectly, I have days like today, days where everything seems overwhelming.  Its like SJ said tonight...sometimes its as if I can see the finish line and I can imagine being done so easily, it makes it hard to endure what I am going through to get there.

I'm sure this is the normal ebb and flow of life. I think back to when I was a TA and how I would have given anything to have an Event Coordinating internship. How I wrestled with what I would do when the time came to get one. How I was at complete and total peace with my decision when the time came. But sometimes I let the perfectionist in me get the best of my thoughts.

I long for this proverbial balance as a student, with a internship, and in a long distance relationship. But, wait, I didn't have balance when I wasn't in a relationship. And school has ALWAYS been tough for me no matter what job I had.  It's that unpredictability that makes life what it is. If everything was balanced and structured...If plans never fell through, if Shelby and I didnt have nights where we talked about boring things such as my capstone class, fainting, or the uncertainty of the it ruins our plans, if I didn't make bad grades in the past. Then what would drive me to cherish my time with him? What would drive me to want that degree? What would drive me to be a better Christian? If I didn't fail at this live I'm living once or twice a week (or once or twice a day, sometimes) would I really be growing? No.  Would we as a couple be growing? No.

It's these reminders that cause me to slow down. These small failures that cause me to stay up late on a Saturday night finding ways to have more time with him during the weekends, or to finish the assignments that aren't due until next week. Or to work on that marketing project that needs to be done tomorrow. And when the days are hard and long and tiring? It's HIS faithfulness and grace that gets me through all things I can't do on my own.

And this guy of course :)